Stunning Effects
by BabybluesBabygirl
Summary: Pure and utter crack. If you're bored, prob good read. BL just saying


"Cloud just this once please?" Tifa begged for the umpteenth time.

"Tifa, I'm gay. You've known that since we were younger." Cloud calmly and quietly said through gritted teeth.

"Cloud, you'll never know until you kiss a girl and what better girl than me? I've known you longest and just once won't hurt anything..."

Cloud had tuned out her ramblings, knowing she loved him and the only way to get her to back off once and for all would be to prove to her that he meant what he said, despite him never having kissed anyone. Don't judge, he was a SOLDIER and never really had the time between fighting Sephiroth and losing his memories to actually care enough about someone and discover the more tender feelings.

* * *

><p>Leon massaged his now aching head; why on earth did he think it wouldn't be a problem to take Yuffie to see Cid really quick? That girl was nothing but a constant annoyance, albeit a somewhat lovable one. Sighing heavily he turned the corner and froze, knowing that a certain pair of eyes were glued to him and knowing that could only mean Tifa had once again found the ever elusive blond. Steeling himself for the stubborn nature that the other man exhibited on a regular basis, Leon marched straight up to Cloud, mouth open to begin yelling.<p>

"You're cute when you're riled up." Cloud's words froze both brunettes and he took that moment to lean and kiss Leon soundly on the mouth, adding a barely noticeable twirl of his tongue. "I'll see you later Squall." The blond left both brunettes in their shocked silence.

* * *

><p>"Cloud, you never help me in the kitchen, what did you do now and who are you hiding from?" Aireth asked, picking up the pies she had made and opened the oven.<p>

"I kissed Squall." The blond admitted truthfully and that mumbled statement caused the pies to not reach their destination. Cloud acted with his hated reflexes and caught them before they splattered the ground with their color, putting on the counter he ignored the expression of the third shocked brunette.

"Cloud, honey, what possessed you to kiss Leon of all people?" Aireth asked after taking a few calming breaths.

"I don't really know. Tifa was bugging me about kissing her again and Leon walked up and he was ready to yell at me but I noticed his eyes seemed lighter, less troubled and I kissed him." He shrugged, not getting where Aireth was trying to take this.

"Cloud, maybe you like Leon in the romantic sense." Aireth explained gently, putting the pies in the oven with more success this time.

"Maybe but Aireth... You know me better than anyone and you know how messed I am." Cloud let what he wanted to know be unsaid, knowing the flower girl would catch on perfectly.

"Of course Cloud, nothing's impossible for you, just harder. And given Leon's background, harder for him too. Now is there any other shocking news I need to know about before I finish cooking?" Aireth asked kindly, filling a pot with hot water.

"Yes, I'm going to ask him to marry me and we'll have kids and you will be the godmother so when we eventually kill each other you'll be left with our thirty something kids." Cloud didn't stay around to see his effect his words had caused, he simply did what he did best and that was to run to an easier problem when a bigger one emerged.

"Cloud Strife, you are going to be the death of me..."

* * *

><p>"Aireth, have you seen Cloud?" Leon had driven himself up the wall and back down without Yuffie's help, for once, and finally had drug himself back home.<p>

"No, I haven't since the last time we had a big dinner together." Aireth answered smoothly while trying to balance the flavoring of the spaghetti.

"Damn that man! First he does nothing but irritate me and then he irritates me more by giving me a sliver of hope and then disappears. What is he planning this time, asking me to marry him?" Leon stormed from the kitchen and poor Aireth was more than ready to take a break from the kitchen until they had settled everything. Otherwise something terrible was bound to happen and dinner had already been ruined twice so the only thing left was her having a heart attack instead of a near heart attack.

* * *

><p>"Cloud Strife!" Said man froze at the sound of a sexy voice that was distorted by anger and stress. "What the hell were you thinking?"<p>

"I wasn't..." Cloud answered truthfully, stunning the angry lion into silence.

"Do you ever?" Leon growled out, words barely words at this point.

"Leon-" This time Cloud was stunned into silence but he kept up his side of the angry kiss, furthering it by shoving his tongue into a trap of teeth.

"Don't ever do that again." Leon whispered harshly.

"I won't Squall." He pushed brown hair out of his way to look into stormy gunmetal eyes.


End file.
